Seven Tools

Trading Discomforts

I think most of us have the belief, or maybe the hope, that if we do the right thing everything will feel good. The reality is that while it tends to feel better in the long run, Right Action, at least at first, often means trading one discomfort for another.

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Compassionate Strokes

My parents signed me up for swim lessons when I was starting first grade hoping I would learn to cooperate during hair washing time. I have to admit washing my hair entailed an almost bloody, ridiculously noisy battle that nobody won. I took my blood curdling screams to the pool and after a couple years…

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Why I Love the Tools

The Seven Tools create a shared vocabulary and a structure to think and talk about the inner process. They sound pretty straight forward when you talk about them so the ideas are easily taught/learned. I can drop a line here and there in therapy without having to do a whole psychoeducational sidebar and the point is conveyed.

The application of The Seven Tools, however, gets you into the same ooey gooey process as therapy. I have found that when I use the Tools with my clients that they are able to actively engage in the therapeutic process more quickly because we have a shared vocabulary and framework for thinking about the work.

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It Is Hard to See Others Hurting

Imagine you are sitting with a friend and they share with you a problem they are having in their lives.If you are anything like me, you listen empathically and offer support, and there is a part of you that wants to jump in to fix it for them but that isn’t usually what they need.

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Am I Going to Cry Forever?

I once had a student ask me, with tears streaming down her face, if she was going to cry forever. We had gotten to the part of the Taming the Bear class where I asked the question “What is a belief that you do not currently hold, but that if you held it, you would feel less stress?”

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You Can Do This

Your healing is always possible. Think about it. It is theoretically possible for you to become happier, healthier, and wealthier. You know this at a deep level. That is why you keep looking. The question is how? Well, it turns out that there are two keys which you can wield that make your healing much…

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